Clothes Make the Man

I was in a care conference for a client the other day. He is in his mid-nineties. His bald head sometimes looks like it is about a third the size of his body. He used to be a semi professional athlete. He is stooped when he walks. But he is not stupid.

He is also often incontinent. He refuses to wear any kind of incontinence product. So sometimes he ends up wetting himself. More important, in terms of safety (but not perhaps in dignity) is that his floor gets wet, and sometimes he then slips and falls. He is a future broken hip.

He dresses in the dress pants and nice shirts that he has worn throughout his life. He was a natty dresser, I guess you could say. His clothes made him who he was, to an extent and in his mind.

The staff has asked him in the past to wear the track suits and easy care and maneuverable clothes that you often see people in care facilities wearing. He won't.

They don't ask him anymore to wear incontinence products. They don't ask him to wear a different kind of clothes. They know, and he knows, that he will have to have his clothes cleaned more often and he is at risk for falls.

But what that staff acknowledges is that what is not at risk is his dignity and his sense of self. That is what they are helping him to preserve. The clothes will continue to make the man.