A Different View of Dementia

I took a client of mine to the doctor's today. She didn't want to go. She has Alzheimer's disease, and it is progressing. She didn't understand why she was going.

And it was raining today, a typical dreary Vancouver fall with a cold drizzle on our faces warning us of a wet Winter to come. We had some extra time, so I stopped at an art gallery, as she has always loved art. She still has her collection, it is taking over all the walls of the tiny suite in her assisted living building.

The walkway to the museum was strewn with leaves, a patchwork of fallen colour. Overhead, many of the trees were still hanging on to their leaves, even as they have turned to brown. She stopped for a moment and picked up a yellow oak leaf , and exclaimed, "Oh, look at this, look at how pretty it is. " Then her eye caught one of the brown ones on a tree. She reached up with excitement , picked it, and held it up for me to see. "Will you look at this , " she said. " How do you suppose these , uh, these things get this shape?" Her smile was wide and she shook her head in wonder.

She couldn't find the word for leaf. There are many words she searches for and can't find as she gets stuck in the dead ends that are the maze in her mind. She doesn't like where she lives, and doesn't understand why her daughters don't ask her to come live with them. She hides things, then can't find them and thinks the staff are stealing.

But still, she could look at the ground and be excited at the colours of the leaves and thrill at their shape.

Which leads me to a place of wonder because I know on the path where she saw colours and shapes, I saw the possibility of slipping, and where she felt excitement, I felt cold and wet .

I think how much she has to give. What is sad is, she doesn't even know she has something of value to give, and wouldn't believe it if I were to tell her.

It reminds me again that, while I have to be aware of how much people with Alzheimer's have lost, I also have to look for how much is still there. And sometimes when I look through their eyes, I see so much more.