Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Advice About Room Changes and Where Not to Pee

I went to see Mrs T.--one of my 98 year old clients the other day. She has lived many years in a nursing home, in a large corner room with a lovely view. She is a sweet, alert, and lonely lady, who never recovered from the loss of her husband a few years ago. Due to very legitimate changes in the home, ones that were really beyond managment control, she had to change rooms.

The home got Mrs. T a room on another floor, but the exact same size, same view, same everything, except the bathroom was changed around. They took care of all the moving expenses, and did all the work. Her family, most of whom live out of town, were aware. We talked about the moved beforehand, she chose what she wanted. It was all done right.

I went to see her after the move. She was exhausted, and cranky. "Everything is different, " she told me. "I don't know, it is just too much for me, I think I should go to sleep and not wake up."

We talked about how hard moving is. Not the physical work, but the worry. And the new staff, the change in her routine that comes with new people, even good staff. We talked for a long time, allowing her to ventilate and process what happened to her. I finally asked her what was different.

"The bathroom, " she told me. " It's all changed around. The sink is where the toilet was, and the toilet is where the sink was."

I got up to go look in the bathroom. When I sat down again, I looked at her in the face quite slolemnly for aboutfiteen secons. The I said, "Hmm. Well, I can see what you mean. You better be careful you don't pee in your sink."

She burst out laughing. "Now you're trying to make me laugh."

"I'm sorry, " I said contritely, "I won't do that again."

She laughed again. It didn't put things back, but between listening to her, and laughing with her, I hope it started to help her adjust. I will spend a lot more time with her on this.

The point is, that adjustment and change is hard on older people. A movc from one room to another in which everything is done, would seem simple. A change in the dining room would seem to be a small thing.

But they're not, when you don't have much left, in either things or energy . That's what makes eldercare so hard, and so special. That is also why the government needs to be aware of the policies and changes that it institutes, and know what the effects are. it is why staff and management needto think things through very carefully, and do a lot of problme solving before they decide to move someon's room .

Residents in nursing homes are not protected by Residential Tenancy Law. They have some protection from Licensing, and the Health Authorities, but it is not legal, and they have no recourse. They have no security. In the U. S., before a move takes place, there is a whole process which has to be followed,

We don't have that law, but we should. In the meantime, preparation and planning are essential when any move takes place. And you can object. You can read more about this in my book , "Nursing Homes: The Family's Journey ( http://www.nursinghomesbook.com/ ).

That is also one reason why you hire a Geriatric Care Manager. We can help you through this process, or other problem solving processes in nursing homes and in the community. If you are are out of town, we can be there for you. For more about Geriatric Care Management, please see our website www.diamondgeriatrics.com