Is Tom Cruise Irritating Your Bowels--Or Is It IBS?

I was just reading an article on Irritable Bowel Syndrome. in Sunday's Parade magazine. We don't get Parade in Canada, but it has been a Sunday supplement from at least the time I was growing up. I like to read it for the question and answer sections on totally useless, pop culture information that I shouldn't admit that I like to read.

Actually, as long as I am in a self disclosing mode, can I share something? I think life could be a lot easier if it were in question and answer kind of form. I love reading those columns--anything, I don't care if it is about cars, or Ann Landers, or Leather lovers, if it is in a column, I'll read it. Okay, so I'm shallow. One doesn't drown in shallow. I have my limits, however. Like I am not so shallow that I know the name of the town in Italy where there is a fifteenth century castle where Tom Cruise married Katie Holmes. ( Okay, so I know the rest, I just happened to glance at it while reading the editorials). Anyway, he probably had to imprison her to marry him. Otherwise she may have figured out how deep in she is ( as if the kid wasn't enough to be a clue) and run screaming the other way.

Anyway, where was I. Oh, yeah, irritatating bowels. Actually, not a big jump to Tom Cruise, if you think about it. But, back to our bowels.

The article was titled "Relief for Irritable Bowel Syndrome." In brief, it says that "researchers at Cedars-Sinai Medical Centre in Los Angeles found that rifaximin, an antibiotic often prescribed to prevent traveler's diarrhea, can improve IBS symptoms..." I went on the net, and looked it up, along with other treatments and articles on IBS.

I was amazed again, on what is out there--I dunno if it works or not. But so often, I have had older people who were told by their doctors that there is nothing that can be done. Not bad doctors, just ones who don't know the condition all that well.

Soooooooooooooooooooooooo, that is why I want to remind you--whatever condition you have, do your own research, don't take the "there is nothing that can be done" answer, without doing some searching on your own. The self help groups are the best places to start---like the Alzheimers Society or the OBS.org group in this case.

Sometimes there IS nothing to be done about a condition, but sometimes--- well, we are the consumers. A lot of older people, though don't have the attitude to challenge what they are told, or the means or expertise or ability to look for themselves.

Look for them.

The Issue of Living at Risk and Competency

In the paper the other day there was an article about a B.C. Supreme Court decision. It allowed an 86 year old man to continue to spend his money as he wished. He had met a woman half his age in Florida. He was apparently running up debt by spending on her or for her, and the daughters, who had power of attorney, transferred the title of his condo to protect his only real asset. He sued and the judge sided with him, saying the daughters could no do that.

Risk and competency are the hardest things for caregivers to deal with in some ways. In the earlier or even moderate stages of dementia or other diseases, there is often no real clarity as to how competent someone is. There are opinions, there are signs that point one way of the other. The lack of clarity is what gives rise to guilt, sometimes family strife and stress, where there are differing opinions, and sometims sorrow and damage.

I do a lot of lecturing; I often talk about risk: does someone have the capacity to understnad and appreciate the nature and consequences of their actions, and how are the actions impacting on others? That is the simple question.

But there is more--there is the question of what would someone have wanted, even if they are cognitively impaired? Would they have wanted to be allowed to put themselves or their finances at risk? Would they have wanted to risk death living at home, rather than moving to a care facility? And what responsibility do caregivers have, legally and morally, to remember and heed those wishes or to not heed them.

What would that same person have done, if they were in the caregiving position, rather than the care receiver?

What do you and I want if it comes to that for ourselves?

The bottom line is, we are all allowed to take risks, and we are allowed to do things which others would consider stupid or foolish. We have probably all done it.

So here are some suggestions:

1. In British Columbia we have representation agreeements which spell out a lot of these issues, more clearly than a living will,. Use one, or write out something that is like that.
2. Have a conversation with someone when they are well about what they want you to do, and what they would have done.
3. Ask them what they want to use as guidelines or triggers, for when they want someone to take over. Use specific examples of money, health, last wishes, housing.
4. Make sure someone has a very good medical assessment that will rule out reversible problems and will treat what can be treated. Is it dementia? Is it delirium? Is it late onset manic episode or depression?
5. Involve a third party such as a Geriatric Care Manager or lawyer, or doctor, or financial advisor, or best yet, all of them in a consultative team. Various ones of these people can take a different role.
6. Ask yourself, what is the worst thing that could happen?
7. Make sure you deal with and confront your own feelings of guilt and grief so that you deal with them appropriately, rather than act them out inappropriately by trying to set limits on someone else.
7. If you are not the one taking the risk, ask that person what they see as the worst thing that would happen if the path they are on continues. Are they willing to accept that risk?
8. In discussion with the person, let them know what your limits are in terms of the issue.
9. Talk about it. Talk to friends or professionals or your spiritual advisor, or whoever, so that you have some clarity on the situation.

A Gift in Life, Instead of Flowers

From an obituary I read today:

"...Instead of sending flowers, we ask that you take a friend to lunch or dinner, and tell him or her the things we often think of after after someone is gone.
"Goodnight Sweetheart. I love you"

I thought, how well loved this woman must have been, and what could be a greater gift than to instigate the spreading of love; I imagine something like a chain letter in which a few people take someone to lunch and tell them the things we often things of after they have gone, and then those people take someone to lunch and tell them the same, and then those people take someone, and I wonder how long it would take for a million people to have a full belly and have heard how much they are loved and valued by someone else.

Jeez, Denise, It Looks Like You Did a TwoFer

Well, it turns out that actress Denise Richards, in her pique of anger at some Paparazzi, actually whacked two older women with falling laptops as they were watching the filming of a movie. The second one was 91 forgawdsake. Most of us couldn't hit two old ladies in one shot if we tried; not that I'm suggesting that this was a particularly athletic thing to do, nor that anyone should try it. There is enough elder abuse in the world.

Well, no one said being on set is without hazards.

Both ladies declined to prosecute.

Hopefully they'll at least get free passes to the opening.

Yes, But Does She Know How To Use The Internet

News item in the papers today: Actress Denise Richards, in a fit of rage at papparazzi, throws a laptop computer at them but missed and instead hit an eighty year old woman on the balcony below.

I hope the woman got to keep the computer.